Freeing Yourself From Limiting Interpretations of Reality

My glasses were gone. I looked everywhere and could not find them, and within seconds my mind had the whole story ready. Someone took them. Someone stole my glasses.

Nothing in that moment told me anyone had taken anything. My glasses were missing and I could not find them. Everything after that was interpretation. And underneath the interpretation was something I did not expect to meet. Grief. Sorrow from the earlier times in my life when things really were stolen from me, and the loss around those times that still needed to be felt and processed.

This is one of the most freeing teachings I carry from my training in Spiritual Psychology at the University of Santa Monica, and I return to it with almost every client I sit with. Feelings are thoughts felt in the body. We feel bad about something, and we quickly decide there is something wrong with it. Wrong with them. Wrong with me. Wrong with life. But the event itself is rarely what is causing the upset. The upset is coming from what we made the event mean.

Think about how quickly this happens. Something occurs, and before we are even aware of it, a perceptual filter has already gone to work. That filter was built a long time ago. It was shaped by our families, by what we were told about ourselves, by the moments we decided what was safe and what was not. Over the years those perceptions settle into the body and become habits of thinking, feeling and reacting. Then we live from the habit and call it reality. We go from experience to upset so fast that we never see the interpretation in between.

In Spiritual Psychology we say there are two ways to look at any experience. One is through ego centered eyes. Through these eyes everything gets sorted into right and wrong, good and bad. I am happy because things went the way they should. I am upset because they did not. Every choice I make from here is biased, restricted and unclear, because I am reacting to a judgment and not to what is actually in front of me.

The other way is through soul centered eyes. Here there is no filter of right and wrong. There is only what is, observed with neutrality. And from that neutral place something else becomes available. Acceptance. Compassion. Peace. The choices that come out of that place are balanced and clear.

Same event. Two completely different lives, depending on which eyes are doing the looking.

I want to be clear that this is not about pretending. It is not about talking yourself out of a feeling or putting a bright spin on something painful. Your feelings are real and they are messengers. They are pointing you straight to the place inside where a limiting interpretation is running the show. When you feel upset, that is your invitation. The question to ask is simple. What am I believing about this situation that is making me feel this way?

Here is how I walk myself and my clients through it.

First, get quiet and center in your authentic self. Invite in your Inner Counselor, that wise and loving presence that already knows you are whole.

Then bring to mind a recent moment that stirred up a strong reaction. Just let yourself see what happened, what you felt, and what you did next.

Now get curious about the belief underneath. What did you think they should have done differently? What felt wrong about the situation, and what would have felt right according to your own definition of how things are supposed to go? And the one that often stops people in their tracks: what did you take this to mean about you?

Then ask from the wisdom of your already open heart. Is there another perception you could choose to hold, one that would bring a gentler feeling? Let it come. Then notice what you would feel if you chose it. And notice how your experience, your next conversation, your next decision might shift because of it.

That is all. You repeat it with the next situation, and the next one after that. Each time you loosen the grip of the old filter a little more. Each time you sacrifice another illusion that was keeping you in a smaller version of your life.

When I walked myself through it, I saw that the missing glasses were never really the issue. They were an invitation. The situation opened a door to earlier losses, and the grief and sorrow living behind that door finally had a place to come up and be seen. I did not have to push it away or make it mean something about me. I could let it be felt, and I could let it clear.

This is deep clearing work, and it is also remarkably practical. It does not require anyone else to change. Nobody has to be blamed for the missing glasses. The pattern simply loses its charge, because you have seen through it.

Everything that shows up in your life is part of your spiritual curriculum. The situations that trigger you are not mistakes, and my missing glasses were not a mistake either. They are showing you exactly where you are still seeing through the eyes of an old story, and exactly where your freedom is waiting. When you are willing to look, you begin to see yourself, other people and your experiences through the clarity, compassion and wisdom of your authentic self.

There is a line I love, often attributed to W. Somerset Maugham. If you do not change your beliefs, your life will be like this forever. Is that good news? It is the question that makes me smile every time, because when I read it I hear the other side of it too. If you can change your beliefs, your whole life can open.

If you are ready to find the interpretations that have been keeping you small, I would love to walk with you. Book your free soul aligned call and let us begin. And if grief or loss is stirring for you right now, you can also receive a Personalized Channeled Prayer Meditation.