Do you question if it’s going to work out in your life or relationship?

Will the Patterns in My Life or Relationship Ever Actually Shift?

Patterns can feel never ending, especially when you resolve one layer of the curriculum only to have more surface later. Working your process and staying present with the discomfort as it arises is what actually moves you forward, along with giving your unmet needs a voice and caring for yourself when triggers are high.

Do you question if it's going to work out in your life or relationship?

Why Does It Feel Like the Pattern Will Never End?

Do you doubt that your love can transform the challenges in your life?

Does it seem that the pattern you are caught in is never ending, and you can't figure out how to resolve it?

You feel stuck.

Do you witness yourself struggling in your relationship, doubting if the patterns you struggle against can shift?

Do you work through a big piece of the curriculum, feel better for a while, and then more curriculum surfaces, leaving you flat on your face on the bed in tears, holding your heart?

If this is you, please know you are not doing it wrong. This is one of the most common and painful parts of healing. You can read more about why it takes time in How Long Does It Take to Heal a Relationship Pattern?

Why Does More Come Up After I Heal One Layer?

Healing happens in layers, like peeling an onion. When you complete one piece of curriculum, your consciousness expands, and you become strong enough to meet the next, deeper layer. It is not a sign that you are going backward. It is a sign that you are ready for more.

The layer that surfaces next often feels familiar, yet it is not the same. You are meeting it from a different place now, with more awareness and more love than you had before.

What Does Self Love Look Like When You Are Triggered?

Working your process and being with the discomfort as it arises is enough.

Yes, it's self love to witness all parts of yourself needing to have a voice. Needing to be with the rage, the frustration, the anger that no matter how much you give it seems unacknowledged, the wildly out of balance dance that occurs, and you're caught in a tailspin doing your best to hold your life together.

Giving our unmet needs a voice brings ourselves into alignment. Caring for ourselves when the triggers are high is Self Love.

Being deeply present with yourself regardless of what is arising is Self Love.

Shedding the need to wrong or shame the parts of you that want to judge yourself is freeing.

In Spiritual Psychology we learn that judgment keeps us stuck, and compassionate self forgiveness sets us free. You can read more in How Does Spiritual Psychology Help You Forgive Yourself?

How Do You Move Through It?

Surrendering into the unknown, knowing that listening, deeply listening to yourself, is the way through. Coming home to self love.

You are not your thoughts, emotions or behaviors. Your essence is love. Your consciousness is love.

Meeting our barriers against love inside our beings happens when we are triggered. It's our choice to show up in unconditional love and presence to shift the barriers and dissolve them.

When you are in the middle of it, start small. Breathe. Put your hand on your heart. Name what you feel without trying to fix it. Ask the hurting part of you, "What do you need right now?" and listen. Often what it needs most is simply your presence.

Will It Work Out?

It may not look the way you planned. But when you keep showing up for yourself with love, something does shift. You shift. And as you shift, your life and your relationships begin to reflect it.

Patterns that keep repeating often trace back to childhood. Reparenting your inner child is one of the ways I help clients work with them at the root.

You do not have to walk through the layers alone. If you are in Santa Rosa, Sonoma County, or anywhere online, book your free soul aligned call here.

Not ready to book yet? Take my free 3-Minute Sacred Pattern Decoder Quiz and discover the pattern that keeps repeating in your life.

What Else Do People Ask About Relationship Patterns That Keep Surfacing?

Why does more material surface after I heal one pattern?

Healing often happens in layers. You may work through a big piece of the curriculum and feel better for a while before the next layer surfaces, and meeting each layer with presence is enough.

What does self love look like when I am triggered?

Self love looks like being deeply present with yourself regardless of what is arising, giving your unmet needs a voice, and releasing the need to shame the parts of you that want to judge yourself.

Does a pattern resurfacing mean I am going backward?

No. When you complete one layer, you become strong enough to meet the next, deeper one. You are meeting it from a different place, with more awareness and love than before.